“Game of Thrones” returns on Sunday, and we’re sure you watch it for the same reason we do. No, not the shockingly colorful violence. No, not the inescapable nudity and salacious sex scenes. Yes, like us, you love it because it’s all about real estate. After all, isn’t the whole show just one big bidding war for the castle by the sea in King’s Landing? Can’t have closing costs if everyone’s dead, amirite?
Who knows? Maybe Arya Stark is actually headed to Braavos to get her broker’s license. Maybe the White Walkers just want a sunken living room and gourmet kitchen like the rest of us. Guess we’ll have to watch all of Season 5 to find out.
In the meantime, here are some Westeros-style castles (in America!) fit for any Lannister, Stark, Bolton, Greyjoy, Targaryen … good lord, this gets confusing. And for those days when you want to give the dragons a break, we’ve included the Walk Score—the White Walk Score, that is.
Address: 450 Brickyard Rd, Woodstock, CT
Price: $ 45,000,000
White Walk Score: 0
Probably the most legitimate castle we’ve found, this 22,377-square-foot Connecticut palace topped our list of most viewed properties in 2014, and it’s still for sale. Curbed memorably called it a “Ludicrous Nightmare Castle.” With eight bedrooms, seven bathrooms, and a six-
dragon car garage, this place looks like the ultimate Lannister love nest.
Address: 2529 S Coast Hwy, Laguna Beach, CA
Price: $ 30,000,000
White Walk Score: 54
This place is straight up King’s Landing, y’all. This Laguna Beach estate is known as the “Castle by the Sea” among Hollywood’s elite. With 12 bedrooms, 11 bathrooms, smart technology, and a stellar security system, it’s an ideal fortress to hole up in when winter is coming.
Address: 1 Castle Rd, Piermont, NY
Price: $ 5,500,000
White Walk Score: 33
Built in 1892 outside Yonkers, NY, this ivy-covered home sits, aptly, on Castle Road. Complete with 10 bedrooms, 7.5 bathrooms, and 18th-century Italian Renaissance-style paneling, the estate feels like Stark territory to us. The lower level even includes a billiards room and an “old-style” walk-in safe—the ideal hiding place for dragon eggs.
Address: 191 Degrasse Dr, Johnson City, TN
Price: $ 3,950,000
White Walk Score: 3
With no state income tax, Tennessee will be just the place for you to hold on to your Lannister gold when you settle down in this 24,000-square-foot estate. A replica of an 18th-century Spanish castle, this pretty piece of property cost more than $ 17 million to build, but you can have it for less than $ 4 million. Worried about your enemies? Rest assured—you’ll be greeted at a guard shack (we sure hope Brienne of Tarth works there) and the property is completely fenced.
Address: 2687 Stewart Rd, Sundance, UT
Price: $ 2,940,000
White Walk Score: 11
If you want to feel like you’re living in Winterfell, we recommend this off-the-beaten-path castle that backs up to a national forest. Take in views of the waterfalls alongside your direwolves, then go hiking, horseback riding, or blue-ribbon fly-fishing before heading back to your massive four-story, five-bedroom home.
Address: 16815 S Pacific, Sunset Beach, CA
Price: $ 8,988,000
White Walk Score: 42
Maybe we should just go ahead and dub this “House Targaryen.” The 8,000-square-foot, three-story, six-bedroom regal castle boasts a modern twist on an Old World style. You could feel like the Khaleesi in your hot tub overlooking the ocean, nearby islands, and Long Beach skyline.
Address: 51 Hawkins Ln, Brookhaven, NY
Price: $ 1,950,000
White Walk Score: 2
If there ever were a starter castle, we think this would be it. At 5,000 square feet, it’s not the largest castle we found, but it certainly has the kind of fledgling castle charm that we think even George R.R. Martin would appreciate. Boasting a “grand entrance” and a “dining room fit for a king,” we think this minicastle might make an appropriate abode for young Sansa Stark.
Address: 19224 Y Hwy, Sedalia, MO
Price: $ 2,800,000
White Walk Score: 0
Like any royal residence worth its weight in Lannister gold, this seven-bedroom, eight-bathroom Missouri home was built to last centuries—some of the walls are 2 feet thick! Take a stroll through the estate’s 49 acres, then entertain your guests in the parlor overlooking the lake before you gather in the ballroom for some dancing. But if you hear the band start playing “The Rains of Castamere,” it might be time to hit the road.